Hi everyone! This is my first post. The reason I chose this forum to write on was because my latest passionate study was related to currency strength and correlation, and this website seems as though it makes them a priority.
You know, I'm not quite sure what led me to write this out. Perhaps I long to hear feedback from others. Maybe there are others who went through what I went through. I feel like I am all alone, but in a way, all of you feel like family to me even though I have no idea who you are- Forex was the largest part of my life. My father introduced me to the currency charts while picking me up at the school bus stop at age 11. He recently was introduced to it himself at the time. I became excited to make it my career and instead of running around playing cops and robbers with friends, I was sitting behind the charts endlessly. We went to book stores, read any and all information we could find online, paid for "winning strategies"- you name it. Years went by with no avail. At age 15, I took on learning the programming language for MT4 in hopes it would give me an edge- I even got proficient at it. It did not give me an edge at all. Eventually people online would begin asking me for custom programming services and MQL4 programming became my job, but was not able to make a living from it. All the strategies I ever programmed for others were losing strategies as well. I learned that something was wrong and considered quitting countless of times throughout my Forex journey.
Any time I contemplated on quitting, something came up that give me a glimpse of hope. I was hooked. I avoided getting a job besides programming to have more time into studying the markets. Eventually I began feeling terrible programming for traders because statistically, there is an extremely high chance of their strategy failing anyway. So I quit programming at age 28. Now I am 29 and I am on the 18th year of my Forex journey. I cannot seem to completely let it go, because I always feel so close, but it is like trying to reach the end of the rainbow; I see it, but I cannot reach it.
I simply cannot be convinced that there is any long term successful Forex trader out there; just people who brag about making profit because it makes them feel superior- perhaps they may even sell a course to make up for the time lost. But it seems it is all the blind leading the blind. My latest years of study was price action (SR's [doji's act as them too]), channels, candlestick patterns), checking in with currency strength and correlation- I even got to checking the COT report (if that even matters). Forex has been my biggest life tragedy and I am at the point where even if somebody would offer to show me the way, I would be extremely skeptical. My life long dream was simply crushed. It hurt me so much that I feel like I would need to be paid to give it another chance.
Even though I feel like I let it go, that silver lining remains.